Sandwich Sunday

A few years ago one of my friends mentioned that she and her family were wanting to serve once a month at St. Vincent's Dining Hall for the homeless, and wondered if we'd like to join them. It's been one of the best things we've done. We go the first Monday of every month with a few of our favorite families, and it is such a great opportunity to serve and to get some perspective on how blessed we are. 

Each month we make and take 600 sandwiches with us, to supplement the dinner that St. Vincent's provides. At first we gathered Monday afternoons before heading down to serve, but we've switched to doing it the evening before, and it is great. We've got it down to a system: each family takes a turn buying the supplies at Costco: 46 loaves of bread, 24 packages of ham, and 600 ziplock bags. Not the fanciest sandwiches, but they need soft bread and nothing too hard to chew. Everyone pitches in and it goes pretty fast...it took us about 45 minutes tonight. Luckily our friends the Brashers have the perfect set up for this with two giant islands, and they are always willing to have this crazy crowd.

St. Vincent's photos coming tomorrow...

The Liz San Clan

We disembarked from our cruise on Sunday morning, and had planned on finding a church, but I was still not feeling great and we decided to spend the afternoon visiting my friend Claudia and her family in Katy, about an hour away from our hotel in Clear Lake. We had such a great time with them, I'm kicking myself for only taking one photo. We talked and played Pit, and Catch-Phrase, and Pictionary (in Spanish!), and we all tried Samuel's hover board. Rob and I narrowly avoided becoming one of those hover board fail hashtag people, and the kids picked it up pretty quickly and all now want one. We all remembered them telling us that fried ants are a Colombian delicacy, and this trip we all had the chance to try them...they tasted a bit like popcorn, but crunchier. We seriously had the best time and stayed way later than we'd planned, but just didn't want to leave! Una familia muy hermosa: Andres Sanchez, Claudia Lizcano, Samuel (14), Isabella (12) and Lucas (6).

Our Adventure is One-Third Over :(

Or, as you optimists like to say, another two-thirds left to enjoy. :)

A few more random thoughts at this point:

We're not on vacation. I know, hard to tell from what we've blogged so far. Our stay in Italy was a vacation. But Rob is still working, the kids are still have to study, and I still have to do the thousand things required to keep us all fed and clothed. We tried to settle into a pattern of exercise, then work, homework and housework, followed up by an outing in the afternoon, and an occasional three-day weekend. Still seems pretty cushy, I get that, but remember, this is the ideal, and the reality is that it takes way longer than it should to do the mundane but necessary stuff, so we've had to pare down our overly ambitious sightseeing list. Guess we'll just have to come back.

I will never, never, ever be "caught up." Not on this blog, not with laundry, nor with teaching my kids or studying myself. There's no so thing as "caught up" when it comes to exercising, reading, or being the mom. I know, this is a painfully obvious truth, and it's certainly not the first time I've had this realization. It's just that somewhere deep inside of me, I am a destination girl, not a "joy of the journey" person. I need to just get over it. And yet...

Procrastination never was happiness. Speaking of catching up, poor Robbie has spent the past week hunkered down, 10-12 hours a day, trying to finish his remaining online assignments before his finals on Tuesday. I don't think there was any intentional procrastination, just an underdeveloped sense of the time required to finish the work. He may come by this naturally, for which I sincerely apologize. It might even be genetic...my dad still makes lists that are pages long, and estimates that he'll whip through it by the end of the day. Sigh. Hopefully now we've got better sense as his parents, and won't put him behind with another two week vacation in Italy. Wait, did I just say that?!

People still trump places and things. I've said it before, and no doubt I'll say it again. We've seen some of the most beautiful countryside in the world here in the Loire Valley, and been on what we like to call the "Parade of Chateaux", but the highlight has definitely been the opportunity to reconnect with Pierre, Solonge, Christine and Cyril, and to meet Christine's family! She and her husband Lionel have four kids too, and her two oldest girls are Ellie and Ainsley's age. They LOVE Alexia and Emmeline, and Evane and Clément as well! I'm so excited to see Magali in two more weeks, and meet her kids too! Much more coming on the fun we've had together, I promise! Long walks, playing cards, learning petanque, trying the rider mower, delicious meals, jumping on the trampoline, going to a movie, the playground, school...not necessarily "tourist" things to do, but a little taste of real life, for which we are so lucky and grateful. We have been here for three and 1/2 weeks, it'll be four before we leave, can you imagine what a huge disruption to have a family of six foreigners living with you that long?!! Details can wait, but thanks can not. If only I could say this half as well in French!

You have to be willing to make a fool of yourself to learn a language. Immersion is definitely the way to learn a foreign language, and the younger, the better. I think this may be partly because kids aren't worried about what other people think of them quite so much. It has been awesome to watch the girls try and communicate with their new friends. They haven't learned much French (not really an immersion experience for them, since we speak English), but they use google translate on their iPods, and plenty of body language, and have a great time. Junior high kids might be at a serious disadvantage, being at that awkward age when everything is embarrassing. I have done my best to demonstrate by example what it means to look like an idiot in pursuit of communication though. :) Once we were at dinner, and I was trying to remember the word for "duck" and I simply flapped my arms and said "quack" in order to make myself understood. Learning to speak another language is a great way to stay (or become) humble. There's no waiting until you've got it perfect, or even passable...you just have to jump in and try. Luckily most people are super understanding and helpful when you do this. There is certainly a life lesson here. Who knows what we can achieve if we learn to let go of perfectionism and the need to impress others?

Maybe I could even learn to enjoy the journey and become an optimist. :)

Posted March 23, 2014. Backdated to keep the posts in the order they were posted.

Loving Lake Como and Cantu

Posted March 18, 2014.

Drumroll... because Ellie Marsh is at it again. Okay, here I am!!!!!! 

I know you're excited but, you don't have to keep clapping.

We finally reached Cantu after another one of those long car rides, and here we are at dinner with Mom's old friends. Starting in the front I will name the people I know: Ainsley, Me, Pino, Carla, Michelle, and though I may not know those two in the back well enough to know their names (yes, don't judge me) I do know they are the parents of Filippo (see below). Everyone was very nice. Pino took us all to dinner at this restaurant, and was letting us stay in his apartment which was very nice of him. Carla bought us a bunch of groceries, including a bunch of treats, like Smores puffed marshmallows, Kinder Maxis, and one of our favorite Italian foods...NUTELLA!

(Note from the editor, Michelle: we arrived the evening of Tuesday, January 28th. Pino was the assistant coach in Cantu when I was a nanny for the Mannions back in 1990. He is now the top basketball coach in Europe! Carla is his girlfriend of 10+ years, and we loved her immediately. Sergio is Pino's brother, another friend of mine, and we loved meeting his wife Loredena and their son, Filippo.)

And at the kids side of the table: Ellie, Ainsley, Filippo, Joey and Robbie.

And here we all are except for Robbie who at the time was taking the photo. And last but not least: SCORE- 1 for the adults because I'm happy!

Here we are enjoying the beautiful day in Lake Como. P.S. Don't look directly at my face I was car-sick.

(Another editor's note: This was Thursday, January 30th...on Wednesday, January 29th we spent the morning catching up on homework, and the afternoon visiting my friend Alex, but we forgot to take a photo.)

Another strained smile...

And this one is almost willing.

So is this one.

After the long car ride we all deserved a break and ate at this surprisingly good place I don't remember the name of.

And here we are at an amazing cathedral in Milan. Why they named it after a disney princess...well, don't ask me, I don't know.

I do realize fairly often that in Italy we always were caught with umbrellas, I'm curious who crossed with Mother Nature.

The girls in front of the mall.

In front of the mall are: Ellie, Ainsley, and the girly guys.

Take a look inside.

And take a million photos.

And here's me being just so cute.

And Ainsley too (she looks like a grape I'll just have to call her Grape Girl!).

Sometimes I wish there were seats on the metro but there never are, isn't it weird!!!!

Back in Cantu for now. This my Mom's friend Alex. He is really nice. we talked for almost two hours with him and he bought us pastries and coke! He was really, really, really, REALLY  nice!!!! Like everybody else!

(We stopped by just for a photo, since I'd forgotten to take one the day before. The boys were tired after the day at Lake Como and Milan, so they missed out on the photo, even though they were there for our visit the day before.)

Another photo but I doubt that surprises you anymore.

There always needs to be a photo of everyone so we had to take a selfie.

Last day in Cantu and we had a good dinner to look forward to. (If Carla and Pino ever invite you to dinner say yes!!!!!)

And Carla with me and Ainsley... I'm never going to forget her!!!! She's way too nice!! And, she is a writer! She works at a newspaper, but has also written books! When I told her I wanted to be a writer when I grow up, she gave me a copy of her book, and even said I could write an article for her newspaper!! I haven't done it yet though...maybe if my parents would quit making me do homework (hint, hint)!

Next to me are Carla's sister's daughters they are learning English.

Here's the one of everybody...

And another photo, I don't think my Mom can help herself.

We loved meeting Pino and Carla, I even said they were like a long-lost aunt and uncle! We will miss them!!

The next day we stopped at the basketball arena to say goodbye to Pino and give him the keys to his apartment and some gifts to Pino and Carla to thank them. After all, who knows when we'll see them again! :(

(Friday, January 31st)

And finally another good-bye. I've learned how hard good-byes are but I try not to think about it. We'll never forget you guys (Pino and Carla and Alex and so on and so forth...)

With much love,

Ellie Marsh

Deceivingly blank...

It's not the first time I've skipped blogging for a whole month. But this time I hardly took any photos, which is unusual. 288 photos, on only eight days. Here's what I captured:

1st

Robbie had a persistant cough for months, and was treated for infection and walking pneumonia with no results before I finally made an appointment with an allergist. It turns out he's not allergic or asthmatic, but the appointment still did the trick...he stopped coughing.

5th

It wasn't the first snow of the year, but maybe the deepest. Ellie and Ainsley played outside for hours.

11th

The elementary school was out for the day, so we staged a photo on 11/11/11 at 11:11 a.m.

19th

We were able to attend the Draper Temple, where Davy and Emma were sealed. Oh, and the Utes beat Washington State in overtime. :)

20th

Ralph told us about our Marsh ancestors at the Backman Family History Night.

21st

Ainsley lost her first tooth! The slacker tooth fairy didn't make an appearance for four whole days though...

24th

Thanksgiving! Our favorite holiday. We had a fabulous day and dinner in St. George at Ralph and Judy's. We were grateful to enjoy the company of Jake, the Stringhams, Grandpa & Grandma Backman, the Rasmussens and the Knaubs. It was my first year ever making my Grandma's fabulous candied yams, and they were a success!

25th

We had a fun game of dodgeball with the family. The kids told me earlier in the month that their favorite Thanksgiving tradition is going to St. George. No wonder, they spent hours playing outside with their cousins.

28th

We put up the Christmas tree a little early this year, since I was hostessing a Relief Society dinner on December 1st.

So, why the lack of photos? No, it was not restraint on my part. I was pretty much overwhelmed with daily responsibilities.

Here's what doesn't show up on this calendar: carpools, ballet lessons, piano lessons, early mornings at the gym, volunteering at the school, chess club, helping kids with homework x4, Webelos den meetings, pack meeting, Young Men's, volleyball, Achievement days, church, bishopric meetings, two book group meetings, primary practice & program, Beehive books, babysitting, SEPs, chiropractor, eye doctor, two birthday parties, PTA movie day, assembling 80 gifts for OJH piano donors and making dessert for the piano concert. Not to mention packing, unpacking, cleaning and trying to keep everyone fed & in clean clothes. More than I could fit on this little calendar, and stuff I'm trying to repress at this point.

Rob tells me my only New Year's resolution should be to say no. Of course then he called me to be a gospel doctrine teacher. No time commitment there. My first lesson was on December 6th, on...the Book of Revelation! So I also spent a couple of weeks in November preparing for that. Hard to believe I didn't fit in some time for blogging or Christmas cards. Maybe next November.

Finally caught up!

Whew. Now I can start taking pictures again.

Sunday was our Backman Family History night, at Bill and Ginny's house. After our trip to Gettysburg, Robbie was especially excited to see Bill's collection of Civil War memorabilia. Joey doesn't have the Civil War background, but does have the typical fascination with weapons for a boy his age. This Colt Rifle is taller than he is, and pretty heavy too.

The handgun was a big hit too.

As was the sword.


What is it with boys and weapons anyway?

My favorite relic was the Bible, with some pretty heart-wrenching journaling on the inside of the front and back cover. I loved the photos too.

Usually these evenings we read the history of an ancestor, but tonight Grandma Janet told us a little about her life. She is amazing. We love her so much. We feel so lucky to still have her, Rob's grandpa and my grandma around.

Grandpa Nichol

Grandpa Vern died last Wednesday. The funeral was this past Wednesday, and as soon as I get photos from Jenni (forgot my camera AGAIN) I'll probably back date another post. Jami and I were originally asked to read the obituary and a short life sketch (which we assumed would be written for us). At the viewing we discovered that we were on the program as tributes, and handed an autobiography that went up to age 21. We were never close to Grandpa, so we were pretty stressed. After some serious cursing and venting, we got busy. It took me until about 2:00 a.m., but when it was all over, I was grateful that I came to know him better, and really came to learn some great lessons. Here is my talk:

I’m putting what I ad-libbed in italics. I said first that Jerilyn’s musical was wonderful, and that if, as I believed, Grandpa had received a “hall pass” to attend his funeral, he would surely love the music more than anything that was said. That if he’d been in the room during the musical tribute by Jayne and Vivian, his eyes would have tears in them along with everyone else’s. I also said that I did not deserve the honor of giving the tribute to Grandpa, that I could never capture who he was to the many people in the room, and I prayed for the Spirit to be in the meeting with us, that each person might be filled with memories and love, and that Grandpa would feel that, rather than just the words I’d say.

Grandpa started an autobiography in his later years, but by page 18 (his last page) he’d only made it up to the year 1936, when he was 21 years old. Those pages are filled with fond memories of his large family. He loved his parents, grandparents, siblings and extended family. His childhood included World War I and the depression, and he remembers having an outdoor privy, and only one bath for everyone in the family (oldest to youngest, with him sixth in line—he wrote “you can imagine what the water looked like by the time it was my turn”). He said “It was three in a bed for as long as I can remember, ‘til I got into High School.” He also records that they always had chores, and worked hard, but he did not dwell on the hardships of work, but rather the close family relationships and the fun things they did together. They loved to hunt, fish and swim in the creek. In the winter they went sleigh riding, ice-skating, and of course, as a teenager, skiing. He says in his autobiography that he was about fifteen when Jack Walker moved into the neighborhood and they taught themselves how to ski from a book Jack checked out of the library. They built a ski jump and eventually started competing at Ecker Hill with the Engen brothers. They’d leave their homes at 3 a.m. on Saturday mornings, put their skis on their shoulders and hike up 4800 South, along 2300 South through East Millcreek and then up Parley’s Canyon. They’d “tramp the hill for several hours and make a few jumps, and by that time it was time to turn around and start back to home.” He says, “We built muscles that lasted us throughout our lives. And we learned a lot—to be independent, to have enough ambition that if you wanted to do something you had to work for it.” Wayne, Mark, Rulon and Royce all became proficient skiers too, so he got to enjoy two of his great loves together: the outdoors and family.

He carried his loves into the next phase of life. He married “the girl next door,” Helen Christensen, and they had six children together. The kids remember being raised in the ultimate extended family. They were as close to their uncles, aunts and cousins as they were to each other. And they learned the ethic of “work hard, play hard.” Grandpa carried on his father’s trade as a builder, and was known to be able to fix just about anything. I’m particularly grateful for this part of his legacy. He taught my parents his skills, and they in turn taught me through several building and remodeling projects—I’m sure Grandpa would be proud of my crown molding. He would work hard and quickly, so that he could play just as hard. He was also a ski instructor, but his kids and grandkids remember very little instruction when skiing with grandpa—I know that my first skiing experience consisted of being dropped off at the rope tow at Alta, and picked up when it started getting dark. Jerry remembers that they just did their best to keep up. I think Grandpa must have figured if he could do it all on his own, so could we. And, miraculously, many of us have. Grandpa was always happy to hear about the next generation of skiers.

His next phase of life began with his divorce and subsequent marriage to Verna. He loved her so much, and they had many happy, fulfilling years together. They shared a love for fitness, healthy foods, singing, dancing, gardening, and eventually temple work. We remember them on so Christmas mornings, as they served us their delicious pancake breakfasts for so many years. Grandpa was close to Grandma Verna’s family. In fact, Jami and I thought that Diane, Jason, Justin, Amber or Tim would probably be better qualified to speak today, having lived with them. I added, “In fact, Diane will share her memories after Jami speaks. And when I was talking to Justin this morning, he told me that Grandpa was a great example, and always patient. I know that Grandpa loves all of the Leavitt family very much. Our family is grateful that he was able to have such wonderful companionship, and I know that he must be so happy to be reunited with the love of his life, as well as his parents, siblings and many friends. I am grateful for the opportunities to learn and grow from Grandpa. He wasn’t always religious, but at some point, he wrote this testimony: “I believe in God the Eternal Father and his son Jesus Christ, they are living beings who love me regardless of what I may say or do.” He was not perfect, any more than I am. What a great blessing to feel that divine love, in spite of our imperfections. Grandpa called himself “a quiet, uneducated individual,” but he understood that most important thing, that we can repent and become better. Grandpa loved the temple and the ordinances that bind families together—I remember how happy he was to be in the temple when I was married—and I too believe in this great blessing. I’m grateful that we will meet again, and hope to get to know my grandpa even better. Because I believe that he is with us today I’d like to tell him thank you on behalf of each of us, for all that he has done. Thank you for the lessons you've taught us, the way you have overcome trials and challenges. We are grateful for your example, humility, testimony and love. We love you Grandpa!

Ode to Lois Banks

This is Robbie's Scouting Advancement Chairperson. She is amazing. She's been doing this for 26 years, and has helped hundreds of boys achieve the rank of Eagle Scout. Each merit badge earned equals a treat from her—the favorite is an extra-large homemade slurpee. She told me she goes through 15 pounds of sugar each month for these. When they earn a rank advancement the boys get an entire cake or pie. Or they can save up and request one of her famous four-pound cheesecakes as a reward for 2 rank advancements. Robbie did just that, and Lois reluctantly posed with said cheesecake. It was the best we've ever tasted. I'm hoping to get the recipe and I'll post it here. It's not for the calorie-conscious. She told me it takes 8 packages of cream cheese and a pound of sugar. If any of us keel over, you'll know why. Totally worth it. Her treats are a microcosm of her life philosophy, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing 110%."

Here are a few more inspiring things I've learned about Lois: She was once secretary to President David O. McKay, and to Gordon B. Hinckley, but quit because she wanted to raise a large family. In addition to her own kids (six?), she has raised over 120 kids in her home daycare. She wakes up at 4:00 a.m. every day so she has time for her callings, job and family. She uses a constitution with all her kids and they each take part as prosecuting and defending attorneys or members of the jury when one of the rules is broken. They also do homework, learn to garden and to cook at her school. After visiting, I really thought my kids would be better off if I worked and sent them there.

At her funeral (hopefully not for a very long time) I imagine there will be hundreds, maybe even thousands of people there to pay tribute to her. She will not be loved and remembered for having a perfect body, great wealth or multiple college degrees. She is, and will be loved and remembered for giving service, even when it was incredibly inconvenient, and always going the extra mile. She loves people, and has changed so many lives for the better, including mine and Robbie's. I'd love to be a Lois Banks when I grow up. :)