Back to Real Life

A rude awakening to reality, starting at 5:40 a.m. for the boys, and not much later for the rest of us. The kids were all thrilled to go back to school (where is the sarcasm font when you need it?), and Rob had a busy day working. I spent four hours madly cleaning, then hosted my Monday lunch group, which used to be called "Game On" for this healthy tracking game we started, but got re-named "Better Than Before" today, in honor of the Gretchen Rubin book I've been reading. I obviously haven't really gotten back into the daily photography/blogging habit, or there would be a photo of us (Shaaron, Char, Candy, Deyanne, Christianne, Helen, Katrina, Naomi and I) enjoying our always awesome potluck salad, brainstorming the future of our group and doing a fun "favorite things" while elephant exchange (I gave a copy of Better Than Before and got a recipe for lentil soup with all the ingredients to make it). Then more cleaning and busy work in the afternoon, school pick up, homework routine, the usual...

Until about 4:20, when we headed to St. Vincent's. I took a few photos before it started getting busy. 

Here is what Ellie wrote about this experience for her service learning assignment in English earlier this year:

Every month, usually, my family goes to a food kitchen for the homeless called St. Vincent’s. The night before we spend a few hours making sandwiches to serve to them as well as soup, desert, several appetizers, and a cup of milk, juice, or water. We each pick something to serve (out of the thing they are serving, which varies constantly), and put it on the tray, which we pass down a rack, to the person who hands it to the homeless people. To get their meal, the homeless people line up outside and the person at the door gives them a ticket. They then get inside and put their ticket in a jar, and the person at the end of the rack gives them a tray full of food. Once we gave a man a whole pie! Not only is it service, but it’s really fun to do!

Tonight was especially exciting, when Rob was threatened by a tough looking guy after he told him that blankets weren't allowed inside. Luckily no follow through on that. It sure makes me appreciate coming home to a good meal and warm home.

Our Adventure is One-Third Over :(

Or, as you optimists like to say, another two-thirds left to enjoy. :)

A few more random thoughts at this point:

We're not on vacation. I know, hard to tell from what we've blogged so far. Our stay in Italy was a vacation. But Rob is still working, the kids are still have to study, and I still have to do the thousand things required to keep us all fed and clothed. We tried to settle into a pattern of exercise, then work, homework and housework, followed up by an outing in the afternoon, and an occasional three-day weekend. Still seems pretty cushy, I get that, but remember, this is the ideal, and the reality is that it takes way longer than it should to do the mundane but necessary stuff, so we've had to pare down our overly ambitious sightseeing list. Guess we'll just have to come back.

I will never, never, ever be "caught up." Not on this blog, not with laundry, nor with teaching my kids or studying myself. There's no so thing as "caught up" when it comes to exercising, reading, or being the mom. I know, this is a painfully obvious truth, and it's certainly not the first time I've had this realization. It's just that somewhere deep inside of me, I am a destination girl, not a "joy of the journey" person. I need to just get over it. And yet...

Procrastination never was happiness. Speaking of catching up, poor Robbie has spent the past week hunkered down, 10-12 hours a day, trying to finish his remaining online assignments before his finals on Tuesday. I don't think there was any intentional procrastination, just an underdeveloped sense of the time required to finish the work. He may come by this naturally, for which I sincerely apologize. It might even be genetic...my dad still makes lists that are pages long, and estimates that he'll whip through it by the end of the day. Sigh. Hopefully now we've got better sense as his parents, and won't put him behind with another two week vacation in Italy. Wait, did I just say that?!

People still trump places and things. I've said it before, and no doubt I'll say it again. We've seen some of the most beautiful countryside in the world here in the Loire Valley, and been on what we like to call the "Parade of Chateaux", but the highlight has definitely been the opportunity to reconnect with Pierre, Solonge, Christine and Cyril, and to meet Christine's family! She and her husband Lionel have four kids too, and her two oldest girls are Ellie and Ainsley's age. They LOVE Alexia and Emmeline, and Evane and Clément as well! I'm so excited to see Magali in two more weeks, and meet her kids too! Much more coming on the fun we've had together, I promise! Long walks, playing cards, learning petanque, trying the rider mower, delicious meals, jumping on the trampoline, going to a movie, the playground, school...not necessarily "tourist" things to do, but a little taste of real life, for which we are so lucky and grateful. We have been here for three and 1/2 weeks, it'll be four before we leave, can you imagine what a huge disruption to have a family of six foreigners living with you that long?!! Details can wait, but thanks can not. If only I could say this half as well in French!

You have to be willing to make a fool of yourself to learn a language. Immersion is definitely the way to learn a foreign language, and the younger, the better. I think this may be partly because kids aren't worried about what other people think of them quite so much. It has been awesome to watch the girls try and communicate with their new friends. They haven't learned much French (not really an immersion experience for them, since we speak English), but they use google translate on their iPods, and plenty of body language, and have a great time. Junior high kids might be at a serious disadvantage, being at that awkward age when everything is embarrassing. I have done my best to demonstrate by example what it means to look like an idiot in pursuit of communication though. :) Once we were at dinner, and I was trying to remember the word for "duck" and I simply flapped my arms and said "quack" in order to make myself understood. Learning to speak another language is a great way to stay (or become) humble. There's no waiting until you've got it perfect, or even passable...you just have to jump in and try. Luckily most people are super understanding and helpful when you do this. There is certainly a life lesson here. Who knows what we can achieve if we learn to let go of perfectionism and the need to impress others?

Maybe I could even learn to enjoy the journey and become an optimist. :)

Posted March 23, 2014. Backdated to keep the posts in the order they were posted.

Leaving NYC—Rough Re-entry

Thursday doesn't really count as a day in NYC, since it was just a taxi ride to the airport, followed by hours of travel.

We landed around 4:30 p.m., and made it home by 5:00 p.m. There was about an hour of hugs and I-missed-you-so-much bliss. The souvenirs were a big hit, and it felt good to be home.

Then, at 6:00 p.m., Rob left for the Utah game (that's the whole reason we didn't stay for the weekend) and everything melted down. They all had homework they'd left until that night, there was unfinished piano practicing, and I had to scrounge up some dinner. No one was using their inside voices, and Ellie kept covering her ears and crying for everyone to be quiet. Soon it was obvious that her ears hurt, which almost certainly meant an ear infection. Because we have new insurance, I had to figure out where I could take her, tell all the other kids to put themselves to bed, and head to urgent care. Yep, an ear infection. By the time we stopped at the pharmacy, it was way past bed time for both of us. Long day.

Waking up to 14 loads of laundry didn't help. Plus I had a gospel doctrine lesson to prepare, court of honor to plan, PTA and room mom activities coming up, and a new calling as Relief Society secretary. Thank goodness at least for General Conference weekend!

I knew I needed to hurry and document our trip so I could remember that it was worth it, in spite of the trouble it is to get away and then recover from an adventure like that. And it was. Jane Austen nailed it though, when she said,

"There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort!"

It was good to go, and even with a rough re-entry, it's good to be back home.

Caution: Photos Ahead

Ah, the end of the school year. This is where the insanity that led to my nearly four-month blogging break began. So many activities that something had to give. We gave up a clean house, regular family meals, exercise, early bedtimes...I may have been able to squeeze a few posts in if only I'd been willing to let go a little on personal hygiene, but even I draw the line somewhere. So photo scrooges beware, this is a photo heavy catch-up post.

We managed to fit in a couple of games with our awesome neighbors—this year we tried kickball instead of softball. They could say jousting, and we'd show up, just because they're all so awesome.

May 14, 2012

I helped with a water polo team dinner, a new experience for me to try to feed that many hungry teenagers.

May 15, 2012

I attended my last (sniff) kindergarten Teddy Bear Picnic.

May 16, 2012

The kids had also prepared a reader's theater. Funny story here:

The first group of kids lined up to do theirs in the classroom, with the other kindergartners sitting on the rug in front of them. Near the end of the performance, one of the little girls standing began to projectile vomit. Guess where Ainsley was sitting? Yep, right in front of her. She was covered, but refused to leave before performing her part. The show must go on...

May 16, 2012

Joey's teacher (and Robbie's former—and favorite—teacher) retired, as did Joey's 1st grade teacher, also a favorite.

May 16, 2012

Robbie performed with the percussion ensemble at the Junior High, and it was awesome. I discovered that he was a soloist when I saw it listed on the program, and had to text Rob to come and bring the other kids. Teenagers! He did well, in spite of his cast.

May 16, 2012

Not really an end-of-school activity, but I had to include this photo of us cleaning the church because it's a classic. Reminds me of a church dinner we were at: Joey started freaking out because Rob got mad at him for taking multiple desserts before everyone had been served, and a nice ward member who witnessed the meltdown said, "Oh good, I thought your kids weren't normal, now I can see that they are." Yeah, that's it, normal.

May 19, 2012

Rob, planting the flowers, because that was something I was willing to let go.

May 19, 2012

Backman Family History night was extra exciting, with a solar eclipse.

May 20, 2012

Another band concert. Joey did an amazing job, especially considering how little he practiced his clarinet. :)

May 21, 2012

We are so lucky and grateful to have a great-grandma who is healthy and supportive.

May 21, 2012

The water polo awards dinner. Robbie and Jonas got a special mention as the only seventh-graders on the team.

May 21, 2012

Joey, as an Idaho Spud in the 6th grade 50 States assembly.

May 22, 2012

The junior high awards night—there are some AMAZING kids there! I'm glad that Robbie is one of them.

May 23, 2012

Joey, after a poetry reading with one of his best friends.

May 24, 2012

And, Ainsley's last day of kindergarten. Sigh.

May 24, 2012

She adored her teacher, Miss Newman/Mrs. Gunn. :)

May 24, 2012

Rob will be shocked that I posted this photo, which is not the least-flattering photo that has ever been taken of me, but is probably the least flattering photo I've ever posted. It's because as a scout leader I had to help with the court of honor, and gave the picture-taking duty to Ellie. She didn't take one of just Joey, but I don't want to skip his big achievement—we finally made it through the 30 days of exercises, so he earned his Tenderfoot!

May 31, 2012

Drumroll here, for the much anticipated last day of school. Yay! Here's Ellie:

June 1, 2012

And Joey:

June 1, 2012

He came home with what appeared to be an arm tattoo. He explained that he didn't want to ruin his shirt by having his classmates sign it.

June 1, 2012

Robbie not only survived his first year of junior high, he loved it.

June 1, 2012

We celebrated by making homemade pizzas.

June 1, 2012

Fun, but a lot of work and a big mess to clean up. Next year I need to remember that and we can just go out for dinner...

June 1, 2012

Deceivingly blank...

It's not the first time I've skipped blogging for a whole month. But this time I hardly took any photos, which is unusual. 288 photos, on only eight days. Here's what I captured:

1st

Robbie had a persistant cough for months, and was treated for infection and walking pneumonia with no results before I finally made an appointment with an allergist. It turns out he's not allergic or asthmatic, but the appointment still did the trick...he stopped coughing.

5th

It wasn't the first snow of the year, but maybe the deepest. Ellie and Ainsley played outside for hours.

11th

The elementary school was out for the day, so we staged a photo on 11/11/11 at 11:11 a.m.

19th

We were able to attend the Draper Temple, where Davy and Emma were sealed. Oh, and the Utes beat Washington State in overtime. :)

20th

Ralph told us about our Marsh ancestors at the Backman Family History Night.

21st

Ainsley lost her first tooth! The slacker tooth fairy didn't make an appearance for four whole days though...

24th

Thanksgiving! Our favorite holiday. We had a fabulous day and dinner in St. George at Ralph and Judy's. We were grateful to enjoy the company of Jake, the Stringhams, Grandpa & Grandma Backman, the Rasmussens and the Knaubs. It was my first year ever making my Grandma's fabulous candied yams, and they were a success!

25th

We had a fun game of dodgeball with the family. The kids told me earlier in the month that their favorite Thanksgiving tradition is going to St. George. No wonder, they spent hours playing outside with their cousins.

28th

We put up the Christmas tree a little early this year, since I was hostessing a Relief Society dinner on December 1st.

So, why the lack of photos? No, it was not restraint on my part. I was pretty much overwhelmed with daily responsibilities.

Here's what doesn't show up on this calendar: carpools, ballet lessons, piano lessons, early mornings at the gym, volunteering at the school, chess club, helping kids with homework x4, Webelos den meetings, pack meeting, Young Men's, volleyball, Achievement days, church, bishopric meetings, two book group meetings, primary practice & program, Beehive books, babysitting, SEPs, chiropractor, eye doctor, two birthday parties, PTA movie day, assembling 80 gifts for OJH piano donors and making dessert for the piano concert. Not to mention packing, unpacking, cleaning and trying to keep everyone fed & in clean clothes. More than I could fit on this little calendar, and stuff I'm trying to repress at this point.

Rob tells me my only New Year's resolution should be to say no. Of course then he called me to be a gospel doctrine teacher. No time commitment there. My first lesson was on December 6th, on...the Book of Revelation! So I also spent a couple of weeks in November preparing for that. Hard to believe I didn't fit in some time for blogging or Christmas cards. Maybe next November.

Ellie's Baptism

Turning eight is a big milestone around here, because it's the age of baptism. Ellie was a little worried before her interview with the bishop the week before. She said, "What if I don't know the right answers to his questions?" We assured her that there were no "right" answers, that the bishop just wanted to find out if she had a testimony. She informed us that she didn't know if she did. After talking about what a testimony is, she determined that yes, she does believe that Heavenly Father and Jesus live and love us, the Holy Ghost has made her feel good inside, and that she wants to keep the commandments. I love that it really is that simple. We're so proud of her efforts to do what is right, especially this day, as she chose to be baptized and confirmed a member of the church.

She looked so cute. Thankfully my mom came over and french-braided her hair, I'm hopeless with anything more than ponytails or regular braids. I found a pretty but simple white dress, and she had a beautiful countenance.

There were only two kids being baptized, both from our ward. The program was short but sweet, with relevant and simple talks by Liz Doxey, the stake primary president and President Parkinson of the stake presidency. Ellie was thrilled to have Zoe, Sydney and Kalie sing one of her favorite songs, When I Am Baptized, accompanied by Robbie. In spite of the fact that it was Labor Day weekend, most of our extended family and many friends were able to be there.

After the meeting at the Stake Center, we went back to our house for dinner. Luckily the weather was nice and we were able to eat outside.

Ellie requested spaghetti, which I thought was a great idea until I realized she was wearing a white dress! I put an apron on her, but she ended up just eating noodles and cheese anyway.

There were a few stragglers that didn't make it outside until the game was over...

We feel so blessed to have so much support from family and friends.

I love this girl!

Four generations on the maternal side (wish I'd thought to take one with Rob's parents and grandparents too!)

I love this picture.

On Sunday, Rob was conducting, so he bore his testimony, and I got up as soon as he was done and bore mine. About half-way through the meeting, Ellie nervously asked if she could go up, and of course Ainsley wasn't far behind, a first-time for both of them. Joey followed Ainsley, and told Robbie he had to do it too, but Robbie doesn't cave to peer pressure. But, by the end of the meeting, he'd shared his testimony too. It wasn't planned, and I was almost embarrassed, but it was a sweet experience of family unity that hopefully made Ellie's baptism even more memorable for her.

Thirteen!

It's now September 11th, and I'm still trying to wrap up summer here. This is my last post for July—yay! I really want to get caught up and stay that way, because it's a lot harder to write something meaningful as time passes.

This was a big milestone—we have a teenager now!

Robbie's birthday was on a Sunday this year, so it was pretty mellow. After church he opened his presents. When I had asked him what he wanted, he said, "I don't know, anything you get me would be great, Mom." I said, "Okay, socks and underwear it is." And then he said, "Actually, I could use some new socks and underwear." He's always been pretty easy-going that way. I didn't actually buy any socks or underwear, but he did get some much-needed shorts and shirts that work for the strict dress code at his junior high.

He got a book or two,

a new watch,

plus an iTunes gift card and a cover for his new iPod Touch. He has been working and saving all summer to earn enough money to buy this, and he was finally able to buy it just before his birthday. He worked hard and passed up many opportunities to spend his money, and we're proud of him.

I saved my favorite gift for last. It's a book of letters, written by family and friends who were kind enough to reply to my last-minute request. I wanted to share advice that would help Robbie through the sometimes-difficult teen years, but even more, I wanted him to know how many great people love and support him. This book exceeded my expectations on both counts.

Over fifty people responded, even some friends who were on vacation in Europe. They covered a range of spiritual, social, financial, educational and practical matters. There were stories, poems, book recommendations, quotes, and many expressions of love and confidence. I was overwhelmed with gratitude as I compiled this book.

I wasn't really sure this was something Robbie would appreciate immediately though. I figured it might take him a few years to realize what a treasure he had received.

But as the day went on and he ignored his new iPod to read, he kept stopping to say, "Thanks, Mom, I really love this." Since then he has tried to thank everyone who contributed, and refers to it often. I think he gets it.

There are no photos (so unlike me—I just didn't have time!), and the text might be too small to read (edited: you can read it in the full-screen view), but here's the entire book:

Listen to Your Parents by Family & Friends of Robbie Marsh | Make Your Own Book

That evening, we were invited to dinner at Ralph and Judy's, which was sort of a present to me more than Rob & Robbie, but they're always happy to eat a delicious dinner with great company too.

Robbie was super-excited to wear the birthday hat. ;)

We're looking forward to great things from this teenager. Love you Robbie!